Solemn Announcement, please read. 

This is Kari “MoonMuse” of Three Muses Ink and Studio Min Bin Bin. 

Please let me warn you that this will be an incredibly emotional letter, but I can’t think of any other way to do this. I am writing this filled with tears and sobbing, so please bear with me as I try to get through this letter. 

On January 3, 2023, Amanda Gagnon, who most of you know as StarMuse and Studio Min Bin Bin passed away suddenly due to natural causes. 

A little background to explain what this all means. As I shared with some of you when Min Bin got sick in July, she has been my best friend since 3rd grade and my lifelong partner for 25 years. Though we had lived together since graduating high school, we were in the closet about our real relationship because of family prejudices. However, we had a wonderful lifelong love for 25 years and finally got married 2/22/22 of last year. 

She was my whole world, the love of my life, my best friend, my everything. We were inseparable; her sister said we were co-dependent. Honestly, we had a love for the ages. My mother always asked me how we had such an incredible, understanding relationship where we were always together. When she left my side, I counted the minutes until she came home. 

The goal of our lives was to build a business where we could write and create art together from home so we would never be apart. And in 2020, the dream came true. She quit her job of 15 years and came to work at home with me at Three Muses Ink and Studio Min Bin Bin full time. The last two years have been the best of a beautiful 31 years together. 

We started Three Muses Ink together in 2012 when I graduated from college. She worked a 9-5 job so I could build our writing and art business. I have many mental health problems, so she researched and found ways to get me through, encouraging, and inspiring me. We worked on everything together. When our third partner, roommate, and friend since 7th, Sun Muse (Emma Miller), got sick with cancer, we created Studio Min Bin Bin to help with income. When her cancer went back into remission, StarMuse took over Studio Min Bin Bin in 2019, and she and I have been running it together alongside Three Muses Ink ever since. 

Though I was always the artist behind both studios, StarMuse helped me with all the collections and ideas. We were a team through everything, always planning and creating together, inspiring each other. We had lists and plans for projects years and years out. We had so many stories and novels we wanted to write, we had a whole life before, and we had a whole life planned. 

But that ended. Life took her from me. And now I have to find a way to carry on alone, without my Muse, without my One, until I can see her again one day after this life. 

Honestly, I want to end my life. I don’t want to go on without her. Everything I was doing up until this point was just to be with her, just to have more time with her. We literally did everything together. But it’s gone and I have to find a way to go on. I have to find a way to be alone and still create. 

My parents say she left a legacy; she and I created this wonderful collection of pins, art, and stories, this business we built from the ground up together that made us so happy. We created a whole universe together. They say I have to go on for her, to create for her, to honor her. I know they are right, but every moment hurts. Thinking of her hurts, being without her hurts… I break down in uncontrollable sobbing seems like every 20 minutes. 

But, this magical work of writing and art is all I have of her other than my memories and my love. This creative life, all these ideas, the art, the joy, the creation, that’s what I have left of her. So…I have to. I have to go on. 

So, please help me.

I’m going to go on with both Three Muses Ink and Studio Min Bin Bin. I am going to create in her honor and for her. I have her lists of what she wanted me to draw and have the knowledge and all we talked about to work with. We spoke so often that there was nothing left unspoken between us, so I will use all that I know and love about her to create for her. I’m going to live there, in that world we created together. 

It’s going to be a little struggle every day, I think, especially as I get things sorted. She did so much for the business…The business was a lot of work for the pair of us, but SunMuse is going step up and help me more and my parents too. So I have to find a way through all this.  

So as of right now, I will be running the two studios. It’s my livelihood, and I have to do it for her. I have to make it my reason for living at this point; she was my only reason before. It’s probably the only thing left I have to be close to her. It will hurt to do it without her, but if I’m creating all the things we wanted to make then I am somehow still with her. 

The plan: 

I currently need time to grieve. My grief is so profound right now I cannot articulate the pain I’m in. But I am going to do my very best to try and run things for the business as I can. I’ll try keep you all updated as we go. 

Fandom Heroes 3 and Ship Kickstarter: the pins are in order right now and being made. I know you are all still waiting for invoices. Min Bin never got to send them out yet, so I’ll ask SunMuse to deal with that sometime this month. 

The stickers have arrived, so we are waiting on the washi take and the pins.  

Ever Winter Fantasy pins: These pins are currently on order but will be caught by the Chinese New Year Holiday when China shuts down for 3 weeks. I do not expect to hear anything back from them until early March. 

I will try to finish the coloring book as soon as I can and get it to the printer. 

Patreon Pin clubs: I will be taking over both of our pins clubs. Min Bin and I had the whole year planned out already for her Bin Bin beasties, as well as a long list of ones she wanted to make. So I will be creating these for her in her honor for as long as you all want them. The shipping and digital rewards might be a bit late this month and next while I deal with everything. 

From Now On…

From now on, I’ll be writing and creating everything for her. Everything I did in life was to be with her, and everything after this now will be to honor so one day I can see her again in another world.

Please be patient with me as I try to get through this message. I am broken and still coping with this horrific, sudden loss. I am hardly sleeping or eating, I’m just trying to exist, but I wanted to let you all know what happened to my beloved and what I’m going to do now. 

Kari Ronning

MoonMuse

Three Muses Ink